Bodine Ester Abramov, a 31-year-old visual artist from Amsterdam. Founder of the collective. Tattooing for ten years until a few years ago everything started to shift. She got diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia, also known as suicide pain, and in 2023 had brain surgery. Still in the midst of it she suffers daily, not just from the pain but from the side effects of my medication; like derealisation, which makes the world feel distant and unreal.
Being ill feels like a loss of self. A grief for the person you used to be. With everything crumbling around her she found herself desperately looking for a new hook to life. Something to hold on to. Her work now is about trying to stay connected to what’s still familiar and within physical reach.
The “N0$talg!a” series about mediaculture I grew up with—music, movies, and TV shows from the ’90s and ’00s. It’s a direct approach, recognisable imagery: Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, MTV. “I’m not saying things were better then, I just miss the emotional safety of coming home after school and knowing what was waiting for me. I miss not knowing I had free will in choosing what to consume. I miss watching The Breakfast Club 11 times in one day because it was one of the three DVDs we had.”
A recently finished series “Unguarded” began with a moment on public transport, an uncomfortable space for Bodine now. She saw a boy in rain boots staring peacefully out the window while his mother scrolled her phone. Amongst strangers, vulnerable, but completely at ease. And realised public transport is held together by unwritten laws between us that keeps us safe. Her work is about how she tries to find grip on her life again. By revisiting things from her life before illness and working on acceptance of what has passed. “In the literal space around me and how to feel safe in a body that has totally abandoned me, I try to find back an anchor to ground me.”
